Sometimes even super heroes need to be protected
by Princess Of The Kingdom
Summary: Post 4x22. Things go a little to the south when guilt simply consumes Ressler and everything is put in question and a wrong decision may not get back, but will it really happen as he wanted? A lot of Resslington and a pinch of Keenler. (Text in English)
1. Will it be the end?

Hii everybody!

First of all, English is not my first language, so I'm trying hard not to flee from the reality of grammar, sorry for any slippage.

I'm new here at Fanfiction and I'm still adapting so please, have patience with me in case I 'm doing done something wrong kk.

So my focus is on him, on the best and bravest Donald Ressler but our Agent only suffers and we have already seen that writers are experts in making him suffer, but they do not show us the aftermath of events and sometimes this is frustrating, so I decided to create one myself (noting that something can still happen in season 5). I always imagined these events but I never had the courage to write it. *What a shame.* But now I created shame in the face and I decided to share my ideas with you and for us, I always loved the idea of Red taking care of Ressler, but I am also I'm a Keenler-Ship so I decided to put it all together, but my focus is still on Resslington.

I do not own The Blacklist.

* * *

And then everything became too much to bear and Ressler with his face washed in tears got up awkwardly from the sofa and went towards the kitchen, arriving there he opened the upper left cabinet and took out a box of first aid, opening it he removed all The bottles of pills inside and emptied one by one on the kitchen island, when he finished he dragged his bare feet in the cold wood of the apartment to the cupboard on the opposite side and took a long glass and filled it with tap water, not Caring to turn off the tap completely, and then he filled his left hand with as many pills as he could get with one hand and the glass of water with his right hand. Ressler swallowed the different pills and drank water, not caring about the water that flowed around his mouth and wet his black T-shirt, after drinking enough he put the half-empty glass on the island beside the pills left over Scattered, he then redirected to the room with unsteady body and sat back on the couch next to his phone. Donald then started feeling dizzy and drowsy, but before closing his eyes he was startled by the phone vibrating on the couch and immediately Liz's image was on the screen, and she was the last person he wanted to think of while living so he Grabbed the phone with clumsy fingers and inadvertently picked up the call but the cell phone fell to the floor beside the coffee table, but Ressler was already very close to the darkness and simply wrapped himself in a ball on the sofa. Moments later he began to choke on his own saliva and cry, it was when he fell off the sofa and stood between the same and the coffee table, now suffocating with the excess saliva that was in his mouth.

Liz came home tired from traveling to the hotel to meet Red, but somehow happy, regardless of whether or not Red is a criminal, he would still be her blood and that meant she would not be alone in life without a mother, Father, nor history (even with Red being a son of a bitch as only he can be) and for a moment she felt relief. After releasing the nanny she took Agnes on her lap and kissed her and fed her, the nanny was only in charge of bathing her before leaving, so Liz went to her room and threw herself on the bed. And then she felt a sense of loss, of lack, throughout this movie she almost did not talk to Ressler or even saw him and then she decided to call him and see how he was and what he was working on at that time of 'Vacation' .

The phone rang four times before being answered, and then Liz began the conversation.

"Hey Ress .." but the call was mute and she thought for a second that it could be the operator or Ressler was already sleeping, after all it was past 11:00 PM, but Liz did not imagine him sleeping at this time because they were on vacation And even on routine days Ressler only slept after 12:00 PM. Then she continued.

"Ressler are you there?" It was then that she heard the gouts coming from far away and then a loud banque, that despaired her, something was not right with Ressler, so she tried again.

 **"Ressler ...** Oh my God, **Ressler**." Still getting no answer, she got up and ran into the room to get her purse and at the same time tell the nanny she needed to run, But before that she asked the nanny's phone to call the emergency since hers was still on call with Ressler's phone.

" **JANE ... JANE ..."** Liz ran to Agnes's room and Jane looked at her in alarm.

"What happened?"

"I need your cell phone. **Quick**." Jane handed it to her without understanding, and then Liz dialed the number and Jane fell into the act.

"I need an ambulance on Delaware Avenue block 8 4B, I do not know what's going on but he seems to be choking."

"Okay ma'am, an ambulance will be at your address for 3 to 5 minutes."

"Okay."

If you are with him, now lay him on his side and make him expel all the accumulated saliva. "

"I'm on my way to his house." And with that, Liz returned Jane's cell phone and ran to Donald's house. It would take about 7 minutes for her to get into traffic so she decided to cut her way between the streets and get there in 3 minutes At risk of being stopped by the police, but it would be for a just cause.

Liz parked the car in front of the block of Ressler and went up the stairs not to wait for the elevator, with the master key that she gained from Sam when young in the hand she opened the door of the apartment of Ressler at record speed and found the apartment completely dark , Illuminated only by the lights of the city, visible by the open curtain and the hair of the Ressler stirring as the body hit the ground. Liz turned on the lights and immediately pushed the coffee table away and saw a trail of saliva and foam coming out of her partner's mouth, she immediately turned his body aside to try to remove the froth stream and then proceeded to assess his heartbeat, she called for him, but then she stopped, and then when she felt no pulse she turned him on his back and began to do CPR while the ambulance did not arrive. "Come on, Ressler. Please ... Wake up. "

Two minutes later two paramedics appeared in the doorway and simply walked in. Liz halfway through the tears of despair stood up as the paramedics engaged him in a heart monitor. It marked 46bpm, he was barely alive but at least had pulse so they started working to release the airways, Liz could no longer see this torture so she touched the noise around and saw the faucet open, she ran to go Closed it and found the medicines on the counter. She simply did not want to believe it and ran back to the room where the paramedics were sucking the foam from her partner's mouth, moments later he choked several times and the paramedics rushed to put him on a stretcher and fly to the hospital. Liz walked down the elevator with them and joined the back seat of the ambulance, holding Ressler's hand that now had an IV and an oxygen mask attached to her face to give him oxygen.


	2. Waiting

As soon as they arrived at the hospital, Ressler was taken to bay three for the first procedures and Liz was expelled from the room to avoid complications. As soon as she left the Bay and calmed down enough to be able to make a call she had two people in mind, the first one obviously was Red, her newest "discovered" father and the second was the Boss Harold Cooper.

The phone rang twice before being answered:

"Lizzie ..."

"Red ..." Liz did not know how to start counting, and she could not find the right words then she simply let the words go by themselves.

"Lizzie, what's going on? Are you okay?"

"Yes I'm fine, ah, Red where are you?"

" **Lizzie what's happening** , where are you?"

"Can you meet me at Walter Reed? It's about Ressler ... I ... I, please? "

"Lizzie, what happened with Donald? I'll be there in 30 minutes. "

And so the line died, leaving Liz with the phone hanging in her ear, for a moment the time stopped for her and the only thing she could think about was how lucky she was to call Ressler at that exact moment of the night and one little later and he might be dead and at the same time raised a fear of some complication arise and he could not survive, shortly after she became aware of the world and dialed the 5th number on the priority list.

"Agent Keen."

"Sir, there was an incident and Ressler is in the hospital." Liz spoke from the other end of the line, this time with a firmer tone.

" **One what?** What happened? How is he? "

"It's a story, he just came in, I still do not have any updates on his status, but as soon as I get informed I'll let you know."

"Thank you, Agent Keen."

"Talk to you later, sir."

What prevented Cooper from going to the hospital to hear the news himself was that as the paternity story broke out and with Kaplan's death the Post Office was declared officially inactive for a month for all servers and with that Cooper and Charlene traveled on vacation For Dominican Republic, then he could only know the news via phone. With the end of the call, Liz sat down in one of the chairs in the empty waiting room, hoping this torture would end soon.

30 minutes later Red appears in the waiting room and sits next to Liz who does not seem to notice the movement, Red then lightly squeezes Liz's knee to catch her attention, done so she looks at him with red eyes crying.

"Any update Lizzie?"

"No, nothing yet ..."

"Calm down, tell me what happened, he'll be fine, you know Donald, he always get well."

Liz hesitated a little, but soon began to tell about the earlier events.

It was so close Red, a little bit more and he would be dead, if I had not called him at that time ... God knows how he still managed to answer the phone, when I got there he was struggling between the sofa and the Coffee table with a frothy liquid coming out of my mouth, Red I'm to blame for all this, what Profile I am that I can not perceive signs of suicide in my own partner, "Liz spoke in a different voice than normal.

"Lizzie we'll find out why this happened, something very wrong happened to Ressler to get him to that point, he's strong enough for what happened." Red calmed her by wrapping her arms around Liz and relying on Boy Scout principles he met years ago, still a little shaken by the speech Liz just told him about her partner.

A few minutes after Red calm down Liz Ressler's doctor leaves bay three for an update

"Donald Ressler's family?"

"It's us". It was heard in unison.

"I'm Dr. Robbins, I'm taking care of Mr. Ressler, we've stabilized him, we've done the stomach cleaning for complete removal of the pills in his stomach and we're taking him upstairs to a CT scan because of the several times he hit the head on the floor. Please, who is his emergency contact? It's blank here. "

It was Liz's turn to say, "I'm his partner, you can put me in emergency contact, he does not have anyone else but me."

The doctor agreed, "Later you need to go to the front desk to let them know your personal information."

And then the doctor calls Liz closer and adds, "We take out a pretty high amount of pills from Mr. Ressler's stomach, he will be assisted with a suicide clock, it lasts about 72 hours, after that time a psychologist will evaluate whether or not he can be released ''

"No problem. One more thing, I am graduated in psychology with license to act, could I be the psychologist responsible for his case? He does not open much with people and maybe someone he knows is easier on him and fast for us, I work for the FBI if you want my credentials. ''

"Let's do this, I try first with the psychologists at the hospital, if there is no progress I turn to you, but first I will need the authorization of your superior. Can we stay like this? ''

"Yes we can."

"When can we see him? '' Reddington asked.

"TC scan is a fast procedure so in the next 30/40 minutes I believe that Mr. Ressler is already in his room, he will be in one of the rooms on the 3rd floor, you can wait there if you want"

"Thank you Doctor."

The doctor nodded and left, leaving Liz and Red alone.

"Lizzie, are you sure you're not getting too involved with it? You should leave it to the psychologists here. "

"No Red, it's time for me to fix the mistakes, starting with Ressler, he was the one that most supported me and covered me in everything I did, he has no agenda to help me, he just goes and at the moment He needed me most I was not there for him, to repay what he does for me, I feel that I became a selfish person after we came back from the race against Cabal, so much happened in such a short time, I feel that all They were there just for me and not for themselves, so I guess it's time to look at them, too. "

Red looked at her and opened a sympathetic smile to what she said. And then quietly together they took the elevator to the 3rd floor to wait for Ressler.


	3. Facing the problem

Less than 10 minutes after the two of them went upstairs, a nurse approached them to tell them that Ressler was already in the room. As soon as they entered the room they realized that the situation was critical, Ressler was intubated and with his hands and feet tied to the bed, the nurse immediately said. "He's sedated, tomorrow depending on his breathing improvement we'll be able to get him out." And so she left the room to give Red and Liz privacy.

As soon as Liz arrived at Ressler's side she looked at his face and turned to analyze the vital signs, assuring herself that it was not this time that she lost her partner. The vital signs were low with 68bpm and 7 breaths per minute but at least he was alive and that was all that mattered, the rest would be sorted out gradually. Then she took Ressler's left hand in hers, careful not to pick up the IV that was engaged in his hand, and with her free hand she took out the ginger hair that was stuck to his forehead because of the sweat. Red was watching Ressler's bed, took his right hand and spoke softly with relief "it was not this time." And with that he withdrew and went to sit in the chair by the window while Liz was sitting in the bedside chair Of Ressler's bed still stroking his hair, until the moment Red raised, went to her and said. "Lizzie, you should go home, Agnes must be needing you, too."

And she replied "I can not leave him Red, he can not be alone, and if he wakes up alone tied up like that, I can not leave him."

"I'm going to stay with him, do not worry, go home, rest, tomorrow you come back, it's too early for him to talk to someone so do not worry he'll probably be sleeping all day." And with that he gave a friendly smile for her.

A few minutes later she got up from her chair, kissed Ressler's forehead and said, "I have to go now, but I'll be back soon to stay with you, you're hearing me? and do not even think about doing anything stupid. Good night my Boy Scout." After Saying this, she left Ressler and went to Red.

"Do not take your eye off him Red, please, I'll be back early tomorrow morning." Red looked at her and said, "He's in good hands, now go." And kissed Liz's forehead before opening the door she took one last look at her fallen partner.

Red then sat down in Liz's place to get a better view of Ressler's vitals, shortly thereafter Dembe appears with coffee and Red soon advises. "I'm staying the night here, do not worry, go rest, maybe I'll cancel tomorrow's plans, depending on how things are here." Dembe nods and leaves.

Red drank his coffee and rested a bit, when the clock struck 3:30 AM a nurse entered the room to check if everything was in order and meanwhile Red watched her adjust Ressler's medication.

The next time Red woke up it was already 8:30 AM with Liz in front of him, waking him up to go home to sleep for the better.

"I'm fine, I slept already, my roommate did not make any noise," Red said playfully to try to break the tension that was stuck in Liz's face, she laughed at the irony of Red

"Funny. But how was he last night? "

"Stable. So the nurse must come to remove the tube and maybe he'll wake up. "

A few minutes later Red announces that he was going to buy something for them to eat.

"Lizzie, I'm going down there to buy something to eat Okay? Do you want something special? "

"Anything that is not pancake. Meanwhile I'm going to update Cooper with the Ressler board." Red waved, set up his Fedora and left.

Minutes after Red's departure, Liz dug through the cell phone in her purse and found five lost calls from her boss, she redialed the missed call and on the first ring the call was answered.

"Liz, what's going on? why do not you answer me?"

"Sorry sir, I put the phone in the bag and forgot to check. Ressler is stable at the moment, he took some pills and had an overdose but is already under control, he will have to talk to a psychologist and I became available, I told him that I worked for the FBI but please only if it is within your reach, do not let this Information leak to anyone, at least for now because he has not even woke up to explain himself. "

"Alright, I will not say anything, but be sure to update me on what's happening, I'm coming back to Washington in the next few days."

"Yes sir."

"See you soon Agent Keen."

Before she could say anything the nurse came in to check Ressler's oxygen levels and if it could already be taken, it had increased from 7 to 11 breaths per minute but still was not enough to be considered stable for breathing without the aid of the appliances. Before the nurse came out Red came back with a chicken croissant for Liz and a cheese for him, a tray with two cappuccinos and a newspaper.

"They were the best they had there."

"It's good, better than the last one I ate when I was with Tom, I think it varies from hospital to hospital."

"And how are you both?"

"He found more interesting things to do and with this situation of his parents he was out for a while. We had a fight and decided to give each other time at least for the time being, but the point is that I do not know if I love the man he says he is, I fell in love with the quiet fourth-grade teacher, not the spy who has it God knows how many lives, I do not know if he really is or is just another one of his roles, I do not know if I can trust someone like that Red, not anymore I know he loves me, but I do not feel the same for him anymore, that's not what I wanted for my daughter, all I wanted was for her to have a father and a mother together in the same house, but not I can go on. It's not healthy."

"I'm sorry I let you down, it's just ... I'm sorry."

"No, do not apologize, you can talk to me whenever you want, do not feel overwhelmed."

Liz and Red talked about her and Tom's business for a while, until they heard a noise behind them. Ressler was in a panic struggling with the tube to try to breathe alone and with the restrictions that kept him from pulling the tube and moving in bed.


	4. Wake up Sunshine!

"Ress is all right, the tube is helping you breathe, do not fight him, come on, calm down." Liz was the first to get up and get to Ressler's bed.

But Ressler continued to panic, until Liz changed tactics and seemed to work a little.

"Ressler. Look at me, look me in the eyes." Liz said quietly stroking his hair. As soon as Ressler looked, she smiled at him and continued in an even softer tone. The moment he looked her in the eyes he stopped struggling against the restrictions and the room was quiet only with the sound of the machine squeal because he was still preventing the machine from supplying air and he could not breathe.

"Hey. You see, I'm here. Calm down, shhh it'll be fine, relax your body, do not hold your breath, let the machine work for you, it's okay, shh. "And with that, Ressler stopped fighting and just stared at the beautiful blue eyes of Liz as she stroked his hair as a form of comfort.

Ressler's Heart Rate must have increased on the nurses' monitor because one entered the room with a syringe ready to be applied and made him sleep again, fortunately he did not need one more.

Red was standing at the foot of Ressler's bed, touched the nurse's arm as warning to stop, Ressler was still looking into Liz's eyes as she sat in the chair next to him so he was level with her eyes. She kept talking to him as the nurse adjusted the monitor to a larger volume and then she said. "The oxygenation has increased enough to extubate him it is at 14 BPM, the next round of his doctor is before lunch." She looked at the clock and continued "the next 20 minutes I believe."

Red Intervened "Can not you extubate him?"

Red interviu "Can not you extubate him?"

"No, I'm sorry. This is a function of the doctor as he needs to do exams after the extubing process. "She then grinned at Liz, she returned the smile and looked back at Ressler who was half awake.

The nurse left the room with the unused syringe and closed the door, Red was looking at his sleepy and tied Boy Scout, apparently the tenderness in his hair soothed him and was making him fall asleep again.

Red sat in the window chair and now began to read his newspaper while Liz calmed down her partner.

Not long afterward Liz began to wonder how her life would have been today if she and Ressler had moved on and had developed the partnership three years ago where she was free and he was totally open with her. Memories of commemorative dates came as her birthday and Ressler's Christmas surprise. A gorgeous, delicate gold necklace, and then she touched herself how romantic Ressler was with her without skipping phases, not expecting sex on the first date, very different from Tom who only went after her for and to ease the will of pleasure. She was startled when Dr. Robbins called her a second time.

"Sorry Dr. Robbins."

"Can we extubate him?"

"Yes, you can. But even though he was asleep? "

"We'll wake him briefly and then he can sleep again."

"Can I wake him?"

"Okay, we'll be back in five minutes then." The doctor smiled and left with the nurse leaving Liz to wake Ressler by herself, to Liz's head if she woke him up he might not panic for being tied to the bed.

Liz rose from her chair and began to stroke Ressler's hair again and calling out softly.

"Ress, Ress?" Ressler opened a bundle of his eyes for the voice that called for him.

"Look at me. Do you know where you are?" When Ressler did not nod, she continued. "You're in the hospital, everything is fine. I need you to stay awake just a little bit for the doctor to take the tube out of your throat. You wanted him out there, did not you?" Ressler nodded and she continued, "So, wait just a little bit, okay? You have your hands and feet tied, you do not need to panic it's just for your protection, it's okay." Ressler looked a little alarmed, but she kept stroking his hair so he calmed down.

The doctor entered the room and Liz and Red left to give the doctor and the nurse more privacy.

Out of the room Red started. "Are you sure he's ready to talk about it, Liz? Leaves for a little later. I'll stay with you until nightfall, you go home and stay with Agnes, it's not healthy for her to stay away from you for long, I'll stay with Donald."

"No Red, no need, you should go and change and rest, tomorrow you come back."

"So we do it like this, after lunch I go, rest and come back at dusk. Dembe will take you home. And end the chat. "Liz was going to protest, but then she heard a gasp coming from Ressler's room and that changed her focus.

"Are they done yet?" She asked anxiously.

"Calm down, Liz." Red said. And five minutes later the door opens, revealing the nurse and the doctor. The Doctor pulled Liz to talk as Red entered the back room.


	5. The concern

Dr. Robbins led Liz to near the large window a few feet away from room 328, Ressler's room.

"Elizabeth, the extubation has been done successfully, it is normal if Mr. Ressler feels any discomfort in the early hours, there is no need to worry. The question of the psychologist, your superior Harold Cooper has authorized your evaluation with Mr. Ressler, you have a deadline of 72 hours from now to develop a full / partial assessment on your partner, whether professional. "

"Thank you Doctor. Thanks for the opportunity."

While Liz was talking to the doctor outside the room, Red came in and went to talk to Ressler. What he had been waiting for a long time to do. Red reached the bed and Ressler opened his eyes but did not move his head. Red then sat on the chair to stay at eye level.

"Hey, sleepy beauty." Ressler laughed and replied.

"He..y"

"Do you know why you came to the hospital?" Ressler knew, but did not answer, what he did not know was that his facial expressions delivered him.

"It's no use pretending duckling Donald, I know you know, and if you do it again I'll make you swallow the pills with the bottle together. You are very important to me, you can not die on my watch. "Red spoke in a serious tone, but not evil, a warning of concern.

Ressler kept looking at him, almost emotionless as if he were talking through looks and then closed his eyes. Red stood up and spoke

"I'm leaving now, but do not think it will delay our conversation. By the way, Liz is very worried about you. "That being said, he strokes Ressler's arm, and is on his way out, reaching the door he finds Liz holding the doorknob. He then advertises far enough for Ressler not to hear.

"I'm going to take a shower, get some rest, and then I'll come back." He kisses Liz on the cheek and leaves.

Liz enters and again his partner opens his eyes, this time he tries to move, but then stopped when the restraint pulls his arm.

"Hey you."

"Hey you.."

"How are you feeling?"

"Sore." And then she spoke softly.

"You remember what happened?" This time Ressler had to do better, Liz was a Profiler she would get him in the lie quickly.

"No ... What happened?" One hour he would have to face the truth, but that does not mean it would have to be now.

"I found you having an overdose at dawn."

"How?" Ressler asked intrigued.

"I don't know, I called you, I felt I had to call you and somehow you answered me, but then I heard you choke and when I got to your house, you were already foaming at the mouth and floundering on the floor." Ressler listened quietly, but there was still a small part of him that thought, "Why did not it work, how did I pick up this phone." But at the same time another part of him was thinking, "I was going to make Liz suffer and Red was going to lose his puppet "But Liz had Tom and Agnes and they loved each other and Red could get another puppet to play with. The point was that nobody knew the reasons why he wanted to end his life. They were many and very painful, few things kept him from doing crazy things and stop feeling pain, but almost everything was reduced to zero and he simply saw no way out. Ressler was taken out of his thoughts when Liz touched his hair.

Liz spoke a little bit about when they got to the hospital, but Ressler did not hear, she realized it when she looked into his eyes, that he was stuck in some memory or thought.

"Are you thirsty?" She asked, changing the subject and he nodded. Liz then filled the glass with water and put the straw, she then held the straw for him. Ressler drank and thanked him. Liz saw how tired he was so she gently told him.

"You should sleep, it is not good to deprive sleep. When you wake up more willing we talk more. "

"Yeah."

"You are in pain?"

"It's tolerable."

"Ressler I can see in your face how big the pain is"

"Liz I can't, you know I can't." She pretended not to hear, he had got addicted, but the drugs given were non-opioids so would not keep the vice.

"How big is the pain Ressler?" She said in a serious tone.

"Seven." At that, Liz pressed the call button to the nurse and then finished.

"Get some sleep. I'm here with you. "And then she caressed Ress's ginger hair again.

Shortly afterwards the nurse arrived and applied another dose of painkillers. He slept for the next four hours. By the time he woke up, they made him eat something because he was only feeding on whey and either he ate or they would insert a nasogastric tube and it is not at all comfortable a pipe in the nose, so he struggled and ate half a bowl of Cereal with milk and then went back to sleep.

Liz took the rest of the afternoon to update Cooper and think about her future and Tom's, Red arrived around six in the afternoon, shortly after Ressler's doctor removed the restrictions, as he showed no signs of resistance.

Ressler slept for a while until he was woken up by Red. The reason for the discomfort was that he was very hot and it was not long before a nurse showed up with more painkillers to try to lower the fever. The thermometer marked 39.5 ° C was when Red asked the nurse that he would handle it.


	6. The Fever

The fever started late in the evening, Red was playing with the cards next to Ressler and realized that the agent was stirring a lot and when he looked he was red and sweaty and before Red even touched his forehead he could feel the heat Radiating through Ress's body, was when he called the nurse who brought tylenol and a wet cloth and Red was already seeing advantage in the fever and asked for a sedative for later if needed.

The advantage that Red saw in the fever was not bad, but he was not honest either (But where we've seen Raymond Reddington being honest in the last 20 years.) The advantage was that since Donald did not want to tell what was happening while sober, he would tell Under the effect of fever.

The nurse applied the tylenol and Red asked to be left alone that he would take care of the situation Ressler, the nurse already tired and with three other patients to take care of, authorized Red to make the compresses, but she warned that would come to check him from 30 in 30 minutes and if something happened was to call her, he agreed and she left, closing the door. When she left, Red plug a tape in form of a pen to record the agent's speech and find out the cause of the attack.

Around 12:30 PM Ressler began to move very much and twist in the sheets, shortly after he opens the glazed eyes that find those of Red that seems to show a concern and sympathy with him. Ressler's face looks like a boy who got sick after playing in the rain, with his hair spiked, it breaks Red's heart.

"Hey you."

"Heii."

"Alright?" And he just nods, Red then places the wet cloth on Donald's forehead and cheeks, he tries to pull away from the cold touch.

"It's okay, it will get better."

"It's hot ... and cold." Ressler tries to explain himself.

"I know, but you're going to feel better Okay?" As he says this he shifts the cloth to his arms and pushes the comforters away from his duckling. As Red wet his arms he follows with the eyes.

After looking at Red for a while, he looks around the room and starts to whisper softly, Red tries to understand, but they are random or incoherent words that somehow worried him more. They would be delusions or just murmurs. Red went into the bathroom to wet the cloth again and Donald called for him in a low, different, almost childlike voice.

"Redyy" Raymond had not heard first, but returned as quickly as possible.

"Hey, I'm here."

"Did not leave? "

No, I did not leave, I'm here with you. "Red said and stroked Don's hair so he felt his presence and made it easier to put the cloth on his neck and forehead.

"Reddy ... wh' did not work?"

"Did not work what Don?"

"Stop the pain ..." this sank the heart of Red

"Now?"

Ressler shook his head and said, "No ... at home." Red thought about what to say and then remembered *** Liz *.**

"Because you have an angel who takes care of you."

"It's not tru' Redyy."

"Why do you think no?"

"Redyy no one cares about me."

"You're wrong, I care about you, Liz, Cooper, Samar and lots of others."

"Because we're team ... Lis has Tom, baby and I'm your puppet who goes in the places for you ..."

"Sxiiii," Ressler squeaked as Red shifted the cold cloth from his forehead to his neck and squeezed it to drain water into Don's blouse.

"It's cold ..." he cried more and looked Red in the eyes, he then stopped using the cloth and was now pulling away the hair that had fallen on Don's forehead.

"Reddy ... hurts, stop the pain please."

"Don, where is it hurting?" He pointed to the chest and forehead, Red's idea was grounded, but he never thought it would be as torturing for both of them as it was, but he still had to know what wrong. Red then stroked Ressler's forehead with his fingers and did the same on the chest.

"Redyy ... I don't deserve to be here, I'm evil. Evil have to die." Still stroking Ress's hair, Red saw the opportunity.

"Why are you evil, Don?"

"Caus' I killed." And at this Ressler burst into tears and Red gets up from his chair, pulls down the bed rail and sits opposite Ressler, pulling him into his arms.

"It's okay ... shhh ... it will pass Don."

"Hitchin died, Liz died, Audrey died, the baby died, I killed them and I did not die, Redi I can not live and everyone dies ... no," Ressler cried between Red's neck.

"Shhh ... stop talking bullshit, you did not kill anyone and Liz is still alive, you know that and she's only alive because you saved her, oftentimes, she loves you very much did you know?"

"She loves Tom Redyy."

"I guess you're wrong," Red said, stroking Ressler's back.

"Redyy's hurting ... a lot."

"Shh ... I know. Why did you want to end your life? "He could not make Ressler sleep before he knew of the only reason that made him leave Donald awake until now.

Ressler paused for a moment and loosened Red's grip, then he placed Don back on the pillows, which by the way was still very hot and waited for the answer.

Already in tears he told everything.

"I killed a lot of people Redii, I only have you guys in the FBI, I love, but she does not love me anyway, it hurts Redyy still hurts, always hurts and does not go away, it's time to find Audrey and the baby and see If in the sky the pain passes. "Now Ressler was beginning to hyperventilate and then Red instructed.

"Breathe, it's okay, Slow down, Shh ... it's gonna be okay." And then Red took the Oxygen mask that was hanging from the wall above Ressler's bed and put it on him, to try to make him calm down a little more.

But then the unexpected happens. The moment Red catches a mask behind Donald's ear, the glazed green eyes gush out more water, and with limp body Don hugs Reddington again, seeking shelter from the older statement Ressler had made had shattered Reddington, who now hugged him tightly as Ressler sought comfort in Red's warmth.

"How's the pain now?" Red asked.

"Seven and eight," Ressler said in a muffled voice masked to his face, but audible from the position they were in. Ressler's face was between Red's neck.

Reddington knew it was enough and that it was time to sedate Ressler and give him some peace of mind, at least temporarily while he was still going to think about how to help his duckling Donald.

"Am I going to sedate you, okay?" He warned. But Donald did not want it yet.

"No, no ... I want to stay here with you."

"But you're in pain, you'll get better."

"I promise I'll be here when you wake up."

"Promise?"

"I promise, but you have to promise that you will stop having those crazy ideas of killing yourself, let it not happen again."

"Yaa."

"Good!"

And then Red put Donald back on the pillows, turned off the tape recorder that was on the movable table, and went to the other side to get the sedative he had asked for the nurse earlier. He injected into the IV that was in Ressler's hand and stroked his hair as he fell asleep. When he slept he removed the mask from his duckling face and used the cloth to ward off the fever a little bit soon after he called the nurse to finish, he then thanked and said he would come back, he came back 40 minutes later. Red had gone to air the outside area of the hospital and then went to get coffee. He had never thought about how much Ressler had suffered. He was a man, he was, but he is still human and he was too broken for just one person tohandle and fix. Sometimes even superheroes need protection.


	7. The Revelation

When he arrived the nurse warned that the fever had gone down more and he was only feverish, apparently the sedative helped, as it relaxed the body and cooled the body temperature, he then looked at the clock on the wall and it already marked 5:14 AM so he Sat in the chair by the bed and watched Don until he woke up and was able to protect himself. There were thoughts like, "Is it okay to give this pen to Liz?" It's Ressler's intimacy, it's not right, so he decided to give a brief summary of the basics just to get Ressler out of his suicide watch. The chances of suicide were low, but if he was supervised, it would be unlikely and Red already had plans for when he left the hospital.

Red rested and the next morning Liz arrived earlier at 7:48 AM, Red looked at her and looked at the door and she followed his eyes, so together they went out and talked.

As soon as they left the first thing Liz said was "Was the night all right? You look... tired"

"Yes I'm fine. Ressler had a high fever, but that's okay. "

"Oh my God, how is he?"

"Apparently well, I sedated him, seems to have helped."

"Why did you do that?"

"Because he was in pain and fever and it worked." "I also figured out what happened and you can already release him."

"What happened?"

"Later I'll tell you straight, let at least Ressler wake up."

"Okay, but it's about what?"

"He's feeling he's not worthy to live because everyone dies around him and he's still alive." Liz was thoughtful.

"Red do you think this could be signs of PTSD?"

"I don't know Liz, but gradually we'll complete the puzzle."

When Liz entered the room and Ressler was half awake, she ran her hand over his forehead and saw that it was still a little warm, but it was worse last night and the fever was already giving way. He recognized her and she took his hand in hers and kept stroking as he looked at her. The angel who did not let him die.

Red was at the door and before going in he thought about destroying the pen, but he thought hard and waited until Liz delivered the report from Ressler to Dr. Robbins.

At 11:00 AM when Ressler woke up again he was with Liz in the room and Red had gone to solve some personal matters and returned soon, Liz even tried to squeeze the subject on the overdose but he always sent in corner and did not respond. When Red arrived he spoke softly "Wants to travel or be tied up in a bed with arms. It's up to you. "

Ressler did not understand the joke and then he said "no use hiding anything because I already know everything" "Just answer Liz's questions and we get out of here."

"You know all that?"

"Because you had this crazy idea to end your life and leave who cares about you worried."

Liz then said, "It's not cool to find you foaming, if you have a problem, talk and do not try to kill yourself, now I have to prepare a questionnaire for you, so I can prove that you are not suicidal."

"Sorry Liz ... I'm sorry."

"Only if you give me your word that this will not happen again, and if something is bothering you and you want to talk you know that Red and I will always be here."

"Yes, I give my word."

"Good! I'll have to go there, but I'll be back soon, and we can complete this exam and release your way out. "

"Thank God. I could not stand being stuck here anymore. "

"Well, I already stayed in a jail, you stayed in a hospital. It's on the scale, "Liz teased, laughing.

"Funny." Liz smiled and left the room, leaving Red alone with Ressler. Red stood up and walked around the room while Ressler adjusted the bed to a sitting position. Apparently the moment of facing the truth had arrived.

"Donald can start."

"... I killed Hitchin."

"How?" Red asked without judgment.

"She grabbed the sleeve of my coat and I just pulled, she lost her balance and fell." "It was bizarre Red. Too fast, did not give time to stop. She just fell under the chairs and banged her head on the foot of the wall and all she had was blood. "

"So it was not your fault. You did not touch her, you did not push her, you did nothing, she would have died anyway in any other place and with any other person. Unfortunately it happened to you. " "What did you do to her body? "

Ressler hesitated a moment, then revealed. "I called Prescott. I did not know what else to do. "

"And just because of this Hitchin incident did you want to end it all, are you sure she worth your life?"

"No, she's not , but she's part of the people I killed, you can deal with it like it's nothing, but I do not Red. Regardless of whether or not she's a villain, but body counting is the only thing that matters. . She also had a son and a husband. "

Red changed the subject route a bit and asked. "What is this baby you were talking about yesterday?" Donald froze, he had nothing else to hide.

"When Audrey died she was pregnant." Liz then entered the room and called Ressler cutting off the conversation of the two men.

"Ress, shall we? I'm going to be in the room 420 meet me there? "

Ressler tried to get out of bed with a sore body and then spoke. "And the nightmare will begin." Red laughed and helped him out of bed.

Already on the 4th floor Red spoke. "I have some things to sort out, but I'll be back soon."

"You will not find me here any more," Ressler teased, he had plans to be released within the next 40 minutes and disappear from that hospital.


	8. Clarifying the facts

In the room with Liz she started the questionnaire, while Red left to solve some 'personal' issues.

"Why did you think about committing suicide?"

"Because I was not thinking straight and I thought I was guilty because people died around me"

"What made you think differently?"

"Support"

"You did not have this before?"

"Well I'm lonely, it's me and me."

"What do you think about your work?"

"It's the most important thing I have because I protect innocent people from danger and do justice to bad people"

"What do you think about your partner?"

"She is the angel who lives saving my life. Wait, is this a scheduled question? "

"No ... it was to see if you were paying attention to the questionnaire."

"Are we done then?"

"Yes. But you are unfit for duty for the next 15 days. "

"But why?"

"Just kidding." "Red wants to see you in 45 minutes."

"Because?"

"Is it your turn, And I who must know what it is? "

"Okay"

"Close the door when you leave."

"Yaa." And so Ressler left the office that Dr. Robbins had given in to Liz to take the exam and finish the report, Red was already waiting for Donald outside, ready to leave, Dembe was already waiting in the parking lot

The other day Red and Ressler embarked on a trip to Canada. Both needed time to think and rest. After all Red was still shaken by the death of Kaplan, his faithful ex-friend, and the indecision between relief or fear of Liz's knowledge of his fatherhood, as this could put her in more danger, but at the same time he was happy with the real test That Liz was really his daughter, not Rostov's daughter.

Ressler improved a lot after the incident with the pills, Red also realized that he cares (And a lot) with his field agent, the two men spent a week off in Canada to cool their heads and think about the next step, the situation of Ressler With the vice was almost totally resolved, he continued to do NA, but now he had the support of his 'family' that despite the problems are united for whatever comes and goes. Liz and Ressler also improved the relationship between them, it was not perfect, but it was getting close to the normal they once had, Liz decided that it was no longer possible to continue being unhappy only by a silly desire, after all father is what creates and not What does and she's a free, independent woman and does not need no man to hold the diaper pack for her, her friendship with Ressler also seemed more intimate and she realized how much he loves her and then she allowed herself to receive that love from him. Several times she and Ressler took Agnes to the park or had picnics on weekends with cooler temperatures. The prospect of living that Ressler had to live increased slightly, now he had new reasons to wake up the next day, everything was happening gradually without skipping steps in a relationship in a relationship and then when the Post Office returned to normal, they went back to doing good Protecting good people and doing justice to bad people.


End file.
